November 25, 2005

It slowly engulfing me
Enveloping me to its promises
An ecstatic experience
Sure to blemish

My sight is getting blurred
Sleeping with the idea
Trying to steal me
From this life’s reality



Crying in the dark corners
Of my mind there I find
Myself in profound silence
Figuring the way out

Is it too late?
Should I now retreat?
Thought this was over
Thought this was over

Reflection

What am I to you?
A creature with silly thoughts on my mind
A complicated person with secrets behind
Or some nonsense being in streets you’d find

What is there to me?
A treasure for years that has been hunted
A book-like life every one wanted to read
Or a rug full of dirt rarely ever wanted

I cannot answer the question I asked
It’s only you who know me deep inside
For I can never see what’s inside your heart
Or what is playing in your mind.

For these are the only things I know
Although sometimes it may never show
I tried to be someone the person you wanted me to be
Even it means hiding the true me.

At times when you are hurting
I tried making you smile
I tell you stories that would light you up
Although some of them are lies.

About that old and the same person
In times you keep repeating old stories
If I seemed not listening and would butt in
That’s because I want the pain to vanish.

In my really difficult times I opt to keep in silence
I didn’t only think you might have grown tired
I thought this is the best and the only way
To keep you from life’s dismay.

I’d like to believe that I was not hurt
Because I wanted to think more
That even I failed you would mean nothing
Because I am just here to complete things.

I’d like to believe I was not hurt
But still I cried
I just gave away a gift
So pleasant that someone dear to me was upset.

I never intended to complicate things
I just remember what we were used to be
Even the slightest gripe cannot escape
No matter how hard we tried to speak.

I was deeply wounded
Memories suddenly rushed in
Can’t we wear the same happy faces?
Or what we started are slowly being seizes?


**Posted: Sunday, January 2nd 20058:39 PM

Ode To John Dale

In his eyes I found the joy
That no one has ever brought me
In his laughter I feel happiness
That fills my emptiness

He is may be unplanned
Or may be he is unexpected
But when he came into my life
Everything turns to be alright

He is one of the reasons
I'll continue to live and fight
That would make me smile
Until the day I die

I just hope he remembers me
Although he had grown up
As someone who tried to give him all
And as a mother who loves him so much


**Posted: Wednesday, March 31st 20049:12 PM

TrUe LoVe

This is the best thing that I've ever known
Bringing out myself in me
Turning out dull moments
Into something worth reminiscing.

Smiling comes easy to me
Everytime your thoughts come surprisingly
Setting my loneliness free
Making myself as I don't expect it to be.

Daydreaming comes so often
Giving sensation I can't explain
Your voice is music to my ears
Your laughter is my melody
In your promise I wish to hold
With your love, you are my world.



written: Feb. 14 & 15 '96 12:24AM

Reason Enough

Isn't this nice to look at?

I pray to God that they grow up remaining as loving as this picture.

God has really been good to me...giving these bunch of joy, best friends and talents...reason enough for me to remain sane.

Great Sight

Haaayyy....half day ko today. Malaki mawawala sa kin nito, considering wala na me leave (vl, that is!).

I was not just sleepless...i think i'd get sick. Really sick.

I rushed mama to the hospital (again!) yesterday. We were there mga 6pm pa lang. She was feeling and dizzy and her batok (ano ba english nito - inaantok pa kse ako e!) was aching to the point that she can no longer move her head. So the interns one by one asked her history, got her bp and all.

180/110. that was her bp yday. so we were asked to stay for a while in the hospital until her bp normalized. while we were there, my head ached with the sight of illness of all sorts.i witnessed two deaths,angst and complain of pain in all parts of the emergency room. i was nearly pissed off coz our stay has beginning to lengthen - from hour to hours.but what can i do? it is a government hospital. with only "two doctors" leading the army, how can they accomodate all the patients? i tried befriending the intern assigned to mama and she told me that these patients have been told to transfer to other hospital kse nga sobra ng dami and wala ng room pero ayaw. people can be so hard-headed sometimes. nandon kse mga doctor ni mama kya nagtyatyaga kami don.

so at last, near 1:00am, pina-uwi naman na kmi.wala pa kong kain and sobrang antok pa ko.

til now...

Shattered Soul

Tears are ripping me apart
Shadow of the past is haunting me
A new life I want to start
Why can’t they just go away?

I am beginning to feel
My soul had gone numb
Is this something for real?
Have I really gone dumb?

I am not anymore a lost soul
Step by step I am about to fall
Slowly defeated by this battle
My own soul is now shattered

How can I pick up the pieces?
Of a dream once dreamt
There is nothing I can hold
Now I am a shattered soul